About Patty Ellis

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So far Patty Ellis has created 39 blog entries.

Marco Rubio Needs a Golf Lesson

RubioMarco Rubio lost to Donald Trump in the last set of primaries and dropped out of the Presidential race.  Why? Because he broke the Cardinal Rule of Golf.

I know this rule well.  As a shorter hitter, I’m constantly being out-driven by my competitors.   Being out-driven puts me at a disadvantage, but I can still compete if I stick with my strengths… get it close, chip and putt.  But I don’t stand a chance if I try to outdrive longer hitters.  All it does is take me out of my game – and increase my frustration every time someone outdrives me by 40 yards!  The Cardinal Rule of Golf is stay within your game.

In my analogy, Rubio is the short-hitter, Trump the long-hitter.  Trump is the best at swatting away barbs and making sure the ones he throws land.   […]

Marco Rubio Needs a Golf Lesson2019-04-28T15:15:47-04:00

War on the Bethpage Black Course

gladiatorsIf you’ve played the Black Course at Bethpage, you know it can take a long time.  When there are slow players in front of you, it can be agonizing.

Jim, Bill, Greg and I were in this agonized state when, after 5 hours, we were only on the 15th hole.  The slow foursome was two groups in front of us.  Jim had already yelled out at them on the 10th hole to play faster, but they had ignored him.

Let me make sure I’m setting up this war story clearly:  They’re the bad guys, we’re the good guys.

The 15th hole goes due north.  The 16th hole comes back due south right alongside the 15th.  Because this group was so slow, we were passing them where the two holes come very close together.

Jim yelled out again, “You guys are holding up the whole course, pick […]

War on the Bethpage Black Course2019-04-28T15:25:27-04:00

Golf Is Not Perfect

TurtleIf you’ve been reading this blog, you know that I love golf as much as anyone.  And not just playing it – I love golf for its honor, traditions and sportsmanship.

But golf isn’t perfect.  The National Golf Foundation recently found two things:  1) the number of rounds played has dropped significantly from its heyday in the 90’s (some believe golf is in crisis), and 2) ninety percent of people surveyed said slow play is the biggest factor spoiling their enjoyment of the game.   While surely there are other reasons for golf’s decline, these two things must be connected.  Slow pace of play is negatively affecting the game.

When Mr. Egger took me out for my first round of golf (way back in the olden days), he was adamant that we keep up with the group in front of us.  He said […]

Golf Is Not Perfect2019-04-28T15:58:35-04:00

The Difference Between Men’s and Women’s “Games”

poison-ivy-summer-6-14-14-6Over the years, I’ve discovered that playing golf with men has some subtle, yet significant, differences from playing golf with women.   Here’s a few of my observations:

Men spit.  Almost all spitting men are courteous, but once I was walking down the fairway enjoying the scenery when… Bammo!  I was hopping over incoming projectile saliva. Keep an eye out.

If you’re a woman playing with three men and you don’t see one of them, don’t look for him.  He’s in the woods – and he’s not looking for his golf ball.  I found this out the hard way.  “Hey, where’s Bob??”  Oh.

Speaking of woods, there may come a time when even we women might need to use Nature’s Bathroom.   This is already an unpleasant experience, but I have three pieces of advice to make it bearable:

1)  Face uphill – I […]

The Difference Between Men’s and Women’s “Games”2019-04-28T16:34:28-04:00



Butch.   No, this isn’t an autobiography.

It’s a snippet about friendship and golf.  Many golfers will tell you the best thing about golf is the great friends we make. That’s true, but even better is that through golf, we make friends with people whose paths we would never have otherwise crossed.

Butch Cole is one of those people.  Lou is his real first name, but when we first met he said his friends call him Butch.  It took everything I had not to say, “ME TOO!”

Would I ever have met Butch without golf?  He takes trips on his Harley, I open the sunroof on my Subaru.  Butch takes cooking classes, I poach eggs.  Butch spent his entire career in the Military – the closest I’ve been to war is the children’s card game.

But we became friends, and now great friends, because of […]


Getting to Know You

gettingtoknowyouThere’s an age-old golf adage that says you need only play 18 holes with someone to know who they really are.  Sometimes it doesn’t even take that long.

RAY:  I didn’t know Ray from Adam when we first played, but I found out everything I needed to know on the 6th hole when his perfectly struck drive wound up in a divot.  His friend saw his awful lie and told him to roll it out of the hole (gracious, but against the rules).  Ray didn’t say “no” or “no thanks,” he said “Never!”  That one word, so adamantly expressed, told me so much about Ray:  he’s honest, he plays by the rules, and he doesn’t have a sense of entitlement when things go wrong. Needless to say, I love spending time with Ray.

KEN:  I was paired with Ken at a public course […]

Getting to Know You2019-04-28T16:43:25-04:00

The REAL Rules of Golf

pattyblogForget the Rules of Golf, the following are all you need to know:

The YOOL rule:  You’re Out Of Luck!  This one rule covers almost everything that can happen to you on the golf course.  On a rock?  YOOL Rule.  Behind a tree?  YOOL Rule.  Great shot that’s headed for the green but a lawnmower guy comes out of nowhere and deflects it into a bunker…. YOOL!

Lost Tee Shot Rule:  When looking for someone’s lost tee shot, always look 30 yards behind where they’re looking.  Most (if not all) golfers think they’ve hit their drive just about 30 yards farther than they actually have.  Note:  I’m no hypocrite, I’ve heard “Hey, Patty, you’re ball’s back here” more than once.

Water Hazard Rule: Use old balls when hitting over water hazards.  I know, I know, teaching pros say never to do this – always […]

The REAL Rules of Golf2019-04-28T15:51:09-04:00

Sports Can Be Really Tough

Jordan Spieth winning US OpenDustin Johnson losing US OpenIn the interest of full disclosure, I’m a Jordan Spieth fan. I only needed to hear one interview of him after the Masters to start rooting for him because he has the three things I like most in professional athletes (and people): emotional maturity, graciousness, and humility. I’m not saying I have those attributes – au contraire! But I really respect them in others.

And his humility seems to be real. An interviewer recently asked him to talk about how he became so humble.  He said, if I talk about being humble, that’s not so humble. Now that’s humble!

But even though I was rooting for Jordan to win, I just couldn’t root for Dustin Johnson to lose.  I try not to root against anyone – it’s just […]

Sports Can Be Really Tough2019-04-28T16:54:57-04:00

Carolina Basketball and Golf

Tar HeelsHow does a New York Institute of Technology graduate become a North Carolina Tar Heel?   She marries one.

If you know Rebecca (or read my The Golfer’s Perfect Spouse blog) you know she’s the most un-athletic person in the world.   I’m not convinced Rebecca even knows the names of sports because she only ever refers to golf as “little white ball”, football as “pointy ball” and my favorite, “fuzzy ball” (tennis).

So you can imagine my surprise when shortly into our relationship she said “Carolina is playing tonight, let’s watch the game”.  What?   As it turns out, even the most un-athletic person in the world loves her alma mater so much she’ll watch “big orange ball.”

And so began my Tar Heel love affair, which brings me to golf.  One doesn’t think of basketball as being a gentlemen’s game, but […]

Carolina Basketball and Golf2019-04-28T15:11:51-04:00