About Patty Ellis

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So far Patty Ellis has created 49 blog entries.

I Can Die Happy!!!

I’m writing this drunk.

It took forty-four FRIKKIN, FRACKIN (and that other F word) years but I finally got a Hole in One. I had given up hope. I’ve had to watch so many of my shots ALMOST GO IN that I deliberately stopped hoping.

How many, you ask? There was one that ended up, literally, half an inch from the hole. Then there was one where the stranger I was playing with started yelling, “that’s in the hole, that’s in the hole!” Nope. Once, on my all-time favorite hole, the 8th at Bethpage Black, we were all yelling, “Go in!! Go in!!! Son-of-a……”

And how could I forget the time I hit a shot to a green that wasn’t visible. Friends were near the green watching, so while I couldn’t see my ball, I could hear them, thus making this particular episode of misery audial […]

I Can Die Happy!!!2021-03-02T09:55:16-05:00

Patrick Reed and Frightened Little Commentators

OMG, I’m watching the coverage of the latest Patrick Reed cheating incident in disbelief. I’m not surprised Reed cheated – he’s cheated so many times I’ve come to expect it. But the professional commentating about it is pitiful.

For non-golfer readers, a player gets relief (is allowed to move their ball to a better position) if their ball plugs in its own pitch mark – in other words, slams into the ground and sticks right there, embedded into a cavity caused by its own landing.  At one time, this rule only covered areas of closely mown grass (fairways and greens), but about twenty years ago, it was extended to include the rough – and that’s where Reed’s ball was.

In determining if a ball is plugged in its own pitch mark in the rough, a key question is whether the ball bounced. On a super-soft […]

Patrick Reed and Frightened Little Commentators2021-02-04T11:16:50-05:00

FA**OT: It’s a Horrific Word, But….

Subscribers to this site who are golfers know what happened, but for non-golfers:  on January 9th, PGA player Justin (JT) Thomas, a popular player with a reputation of sportsmanship and class, called himself a Fa**ot after he missed a putt.  A microphone picked up the anti-gay slur, so it was heard on air.  A week later, Ralph Lauren discontinued its sponsorship of him.

You can make your own assessment of his apology but for me, it seems heartfelt and genuine.  And I applaud JT for apologizing right after the incident, in person, on the air.  A lesser person might have waited, conferred with a professional PR person, and crafted a perfectly worded, albeit empty, apology.  JT stepped up.

But…this word is just so fraught with hate and pain.  We all have different experiences that affect the way we hear things.  When […]

FA**OT: It’s a Horrific Word, But….2021-01-17T13:07:03-05:00

COVID – 5 Months Later

I hope you enjoyed my initial COVID piece, Golf in the Coronavirus Era.  Now that we’ve been dealing with this for 5 months, I thought I’d share some follow-up COVID Golf thoughts.

First off, I discovered that my ears are small and sit high on my head.  Who knew?  Who cared?  But “small” and “high” aren’t good qualities for ears when they’re being used to wear facemasks.  Instead of covering my nose and mouth, facemasks cover my eyes.  And my inadequately-sized ears are useless when it comes to keeping a facemask on my head!

Speaking of… here’s something we never used to see on golf courses – facemask litter.  There’s no way I’m being the thoughtful player and picking them up – yuck!


COVID – 5 Months Later2020-08-16T15:34:43-04:00

Golf in the Coronavirus Era

While golf (or the lack thereof) is the least of anyone’s problems right now, golf is my therapy, my alone time, my passion, my gym.  Of course, I could survive without it, but I’d be miserable.  So, to all the golf courses that have remained open, having gone to great lengths to do so… THANK YOU!!!  You are my lifeline to sanity.

Not shaking anyone’s hand after the round

Golf courses’ staff have been brilliant in how they’re keeping us (and themselves) safe.  I can play a round of golf 100% socially-distanced.

I get to the pro shop and the door to it is kept wide open so I don’t have to touch the handle.  There’s a notice that players line up 6 feet apart to pay, and we do.  If I use a credit card, the pro, who’s wearing a facemask, gives […]

Golf in the Coronavirus Era2020-04-08T12:20:30-04:00