Remember the Patty Duke show?  Patty was the lead role, but then her “identical cousin” Cathy would appear out of nowhere.

That’s how I feel on the golf course.  Sometimes I look like someone who’s played golf before.  I’m not a great player, but it’s clear I’ve played before.

But then this BI&T$#CH “cousin” Cathy shows up – unwelcomed, uninvited and possibly high on drugs – and takes over my golf game.  She can’t even hold a club properly.  Her takeaway is bad, she has no follow-through, and she can’t chip or putt.  I hate her!

And she doesn’t just show up between rounds, sometimes she takes over in the middle of a round!  I had one round going where I was 2 over par after 9 holes.   I’m thinking I can break 80.  But noooooooooooo, Cathy shows up at the halfway house and goes 12 over on the next 9 holes.

How’d she even get out to the halfway house?   I knew I should’ve skipped that hotdog.

Why don’t you see a pro, Patty?  And tell the pro what – “we” have a problem?  I don’t need a pro, I need an exorcist.