About Patty Ellis

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So far Patty Ellis has created 36 blog entries.

I May Lose My Lesbian Card…

MentapI may lose my lesbian membership card but I have a confession:  I love men.  There it is, I’m officially out of the closet as a member of the “Lesbians for Men” club.

I’m not saying I want to have relations with men.  It’s been 35 years – and I don’t care what the cliché says, some things are NOT like riding a bike.

But I just love the company of men.  I love playing golf with them, watching sports with them, gambling on games with them, and drinking in bars with them.

And until a few years ago, I even liked it when guys would flirt with me (so what if the flirt was from the “wrong” sex?)  This was rare… Gisele Bundchen I’m not.  But it ended the moment I let my hair go gray.

Straight women, heed my warning – if you […]

Sports Can Be Really Tough

Jordan Spieth winning US OpenDustin Johnson losing US OpenIn the interest of full disclosure, I’m a Jordan Spieth fan. I only needed to hear one interview of him after the Masters to start rooting for him because he has the three things I like most in professional athletes (and people): emotional maturity, graciousness, and humility. I’m not saying I have those attributes! But I really respect them in others.

And his humility seems to be real. An interviewer recently asked him to talk about how he became so humble.  He said, if I talk about being humble, that’s not so humble. Now that’s humble!

But even though I was rooting for Jordan to win, I just couldn’t root for Dustin Johnson to lose.  I try not to root against anyone – it’s just too […]

Tribute to Dad

Mom and dad at the Mets gameThis Sunday will be my first Father’s Day without my dad.

Throughout my childhood, playing and watching sports was the way I connected with my dad.  Maybe that’s why all 50 times I’ve watched the last scene of Field of Dreams, I’ve cried when Kevin Costner says “Hey dad, want to have a catch?”

When I was six years old – this is 1963 — I asked my dad why we rooted for the Mets instead of the Yankees.    The Mets were abysmal while the Yankees were a legend, and it seemed everyone else rooted for the “right” team.  How could we be so wrong?  My father’s answer:  “Because, dear, we root for the underdogs.”

Look, there’s nothing wrong with rooting for winners… if the Mets ever became perennial winners, I’d be ecstatic.  But there’s something special about […]

The Golfer’s Perfect Wife

photo for patty's blog

I got really lucky in the spouse department.  Rebecca and I have been together 18 years.  And although I tease her that they’ve been the best 6 years of my life, all 18 have been wonderful.

Rebecca’s not athletic – au contraire.   Her favorite statement, which she says proudly, is “I don’t do anything with balls involved.”  In fact, she’s so non-athletic she’s like Einstein’s “antimatter”.  Antimatter isn’t the lack of matter, and it’s not a vacuum, it’s ANTI-matter.  Rebecca isn’t just not an athlete, she’s the ANTI-athlete.  Stand too close to her and you won’t be able to putt the next day.

So what makes Rebecca the golfer’s perfect spouse?  Simply put, she considers my passion for golf to be a good thing.  I’ve heard other golfer’s spouses say “you’re addicted to golf” […]

It’s a Bird, it’s a Plane, it’s…

Steep-bunker-face-beforeMy all-time favorite golf story – I hope my writing does it justice.  And note:  names have been changed.  You know who you are.

Bob, two other friends and I were on the 18th hole of the Blue Course at Bethpage State Park.  Bob had a difficult 50-yard approach shot up a hill and over a very steep greenside bunker.  But Bob has a great short game.  Confidently, he looked up at the green, then back at the ball.  Again, up at the green, back at the ball.  Then one last time up at the green, and there it was…

A car!  And no small Toyota or Honda – it was a huge 1970s Impala, or something like that.  And it was coming over the hill and down the cart path straight at Bob.

It all happened so fast.  The car was trying to […]

Playing a Highfalutin’ Course, When You’re Lowfalutin’ Me

Rolls Royce canstockphoto12174292 (1)I think I speak for every public golfer – I love playing exclusive golf courses.  For us, getting out on these gems is a wonderful treat.

But exclusive courses can be a minefield of gaffes for a public course hack like me.  Just parking my car poses a problem. Once, I was pulling into a parking space when I noticed every single car around me was a Mercedes, BMW, Jaguar … geees, is that a Rolls?  I parked down the hill in the secondary lot.

Then there’s the “only change your golf shoes in the locker room like you have some class” rule.  If this were a public course, I’d put my golf shoes on in my car like everyone else (once I was so lazy I actually left my house in my spikes).  But not at the private course.   While […]