The Golfer and the Porn Star

I couldn’t get a flight out after a recent golf trip, so I was staying at a VERY REPUTABLE Orlando hotel prior to my morning flight and went down to the bar to watch Sunday Night Football.  John sat down next to me.  We hit it off and were chatting when a woman sat down on the other side of him.

The two of us were so different I wondered if we were members of the same species!   She was tattooed from head to toe.  How did I know from head to toe?  Because her skin was visible pretty much from head to toe.  I was wearing a sweater, Dockers, sweat socks, and loafers.

She was wearing stilettos that hurt my ankles just to look at.

Two of her tattoos were very prominent: two skull tattoos right above her… uh, um, bosom.  Now, that’s not a word that has ever made it onto this website.  I thesaurus-ed it — it was the most family-friendly choice.

I had a tattoo once.  It was an itty bitty crescent moon with a star on my right shoulder.  But nobody ever knew what it was, and I got tired of explaining it, so I had it removed.  $100 to get it on, $1,200 to take it off.  If this woman ever wanted to get her tattoos removed, it would cost $100,000!  But I digress.

She and John started talking, so I went back to the game.  After a few minutes, he leaned over to me and whispered, “I just got the best business card I’ve ever gotten.”  When she went to the lady’s room, he showed me the card – “Porn Star.”

Seriously?  They make business cards for that?

I apologize that this is an incomplete story – I was so mesmerized when I saw the words “Porn Star” that I didn’t get her name.  Darn it – this piece would be better with a photo of her next to a photo of me.  I tried googling “Porn Star with skull tattoos” but frantically closed the browser when I saw the results.  And now I’m nervous – six months ago I googled “Mortgage Rates” for a friend and I’ve had mortgage advertisements in my Facebook feed ever since.  What’s going to be on my Facebook feed now?

2018-12-19T10:31:30+00:00

3 Comments

  1. Teri December 19, 2018 at 10:39 am - Reply

    And no mention of Trump which is where I thought this piece would go. Sounded like a “lovely” Orlando bar scene!

  2. Rick Martello December 19, 2018 at 10:41 am - Reply

    Love it!!! Merry Christmas and happy New Years Patty. 🎄🎁🍾🎉🥂

  3. Patrice Franco December 19, 2018 at 12:53 pm - Reply

    LOL … You are hysterical. Ah … to be a fly on the wall of your Facebook page ! Happy Holidays

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